TwiCarol Brings You Some Light In The Dark

Eric Yorkie, The Van Helsing of Forks by duskwatcher2153

Summary - When Eric discovers the Cullens are vampires, he makes it his mission to 'get the goods' on them with hilarious results. Good thing the Cullens have a sense of humor! Twilight. Canon.

 

"Eric Yorkie!?!?!" I hear you say. "WTF?!" I hear you say. Would you believe that Eric Yorkie is SO much more than just "La Push, baby! It's La Push!" ? Well, believe it, 'cause it's TRUE! A completed fic & a quick read at 13 chapters, I cannot recommend this story enough! I adored EVERY moment of it! I laughed (this fic is effing hilarious), I cried (his precious brother struck a chord with me - I have a cousin who has Down's Syndrome) & my heart felt like it swelled to 3 times it's size (this fic is just that good). I am here to tell you that Eric Yorkie is a LEGEND & sadly no one is aware of this fact. So go read it for yourself & discover that no matter how flawed, anyone can be a hero. The author has done a truly superb job of keeping this story in canon & making it seem completely feasible. This really could have happened & I love that thought. Here's some snippets from the first chapter for you :

The red lights of the ambulance pull away while the rest of the student body mills around like sheep. Bella Swan is in that ambulance, along with Tyler Crowley and Edward freaking Cullen, or should I say freaky Edward Cullen?

It had to be him that saved her, of course. Mr. Sears Catalog model. He's good looking enough to be one, all gelled hair and cheekbones that small dogs could sleep on. He's certainly as stiff as one. He'll sit in class for a whole freaking period and not move or cough or pick his nose once. I've watched him in Biology. I've seen corpses more animated than him. And I'm not just making that up. My dad runs Yorkie Funeral Home. I've seen plenty of stiffs. Just not that many that walk around Forks High School.

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Rosalie is so fine, it should be criminal. You can hear the IQ dropping of the guys she passes in the halls as they sprout woodies. Really, it's like a military salute; Rosalie walks by, high school boys' dicks stand up in honor. She has this pink shirt she wears sometimes; it's kind of low-cut and you can just catch a glimpse of the paradise of those tits. Makes me wanna holler, um hmm.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Back at gym and I'm standing next to another member of the freak squad, Jasper Hale. If Edward is all dark and brooding, Jasper is all light and deadly. He reminds me of an albino rattlesnake. He is all tightly coiled, and when you're next to him, you get the feeling like he's barely holding on, like if you made the wrong move, he would just turn around and Snap! You'd be dead. Tyler hates him because of some unknown slight that happened last year. Tyler says Jasper looks like he's always holding back some massive bowel movement, like he's trying really hard to keep all his shit inside.

See what I mean?! HILARIOUS!!! Eric is SO much more perceptive than anyone realizes. Please go read this fic, for your own good, because it's an eye-opener & an absolute pleasure to read. Be sure to leave the author some love, she deserves it! Enjoy!

**UPDATED**

I loved this fic so much that I decided to make a banner for it! ;)

Ooh, before I forget, I watched Water For Elephants last night & it is absolutely brilliant! I felt like I was at the circus myself during the performance parts. It's amazing on the big screen. HHH Robert Pattinson does a truly fantastic job in this movie & I highly recommend watching it. He is just beautiful in it. And I want to hug Tai, the elephant. She's beyond awesome! :)