Monday, December 6, 2010

Naughty Girl For A Day - Hammerhips

Here we are, back with one of my FAVE segments around here. It's my fault we haven't had a Naughty Girl For A Day segment in over a month. Shame on me, but I've more than made up for it!  I've lined up some fantastic authors over the next few weeks!  So, you'll have to pop on in to see who we got!  Let me just say, I'm jumping up and down over the upcoming authors and got more than a little excited when they all responded back so quickly and said they wanted to participate.

Up this week is the incredible Hammerhips!  She's my J/B hero. Have you read Underneath Your Scars?  Once you do, you'll see what I'm talking about. And, she has an irresistible new one out called Decay which is at the top of my reading list once I finish that pesky fic of mine!

Here's what this powerhouse author had to say...

When the faaaaaaabulous and totally squee-worthy cullen818 asked if I’d like to be a Naughty Girl for a Day, I agreed in a very polite and respectable manner, then went and fangirled all over her in a secret-squirrel maneuver to my BBBF, givemesomevamp.

Once that was over, I had to sit down and put on my thinkin’ cap to figure out what I was gonna talk about. I’m not very good with the thinkin’ thing… I usually just blurt out whatever pops into my mind—even at the most inopportune moments—so that’s what I decided I’d do for my post! Exciting isn’t it. All I know for sure is that I’ll be making a few confessions and letting y’all in on a few deep, dark secrets that might get me kicked out of the fandom. Yep, they could. Please don’t hate me.

Okay, I have a confession to make… The big one… The one that could get me kicked out of the fandom…

I prefer a good, original plot over some nice, naughty lemons! Yes, sadly it’s true. I really despise a one shot that just has a lemon for the sake of having lemons. I like some meat, then a nice lemon or two. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are some excellent one shots out there that have a good plot and a lemon, but they are few and far between. I admire these writers because they do what I can’t—insert a plotline and a lemon in just a few thousand words… That’s probably why people call me a wordy bitch, but I digress.

I prefer the plots, it’s true. I’ll even read a good T fic if it has a good plot, but I do like a nice story with nice lemons, but the lemons are just the sprinkles on top of the awesome cupcake to me.

Are you ready for confession number two? Here it goes: I might be a Jasper girl at heart, but I LOVE a really good Darkisle, Darkmett, Darksper, and yes, even Darkward. As a matter of fact, some of my favorite fics involve Darkward and they just make me SWOON! So, even if you’re a Jasper girl at heart, it’s okay to admit you like reading the other characters on the side. Really, it is. Face the facts: all of the Twilight men are HAWT.

Okay, so now that we have my confessions out of the way, l’m going to tell you a bit about some of my favorite dark, dominant, and/or naughty authors. Maybe my definition of dark, dominant, and naughty are different than the rest… It’s possible because I’m pretty sure my brain doesn’t function properly… Some of my favorite fics might not be what you consider to be dark, dominant, or naughty, but I’m gonna tell you what they are anyway.

First off, I just want to say that I consider any fic with a dark moment or an undercurrent of dark themes to be a dark fic. When I think of dominance, I’m not necessarily thinking of D/s moments, but any point in which a character grabs their virtual balls and proceeds in a manner that excites my girly bits. As far as naughtiness, well, that can be lemons or just a few naughty lines. So yep, get ready for my favorite dark, dominant, naughty authors in the fandom.

One of my favorite dominant characters of all time will always be Jasper in “The Quiet Room”. Yep, this fic is funny, but it has some dark themes running all the way through it. I love fics that can have you laughing one moment, crying the next, and then swooning over a Jasper that barks out commands to pull everything together. On top of all that, there is a seriously smexy Jasper with a lemon and some toe-sucking. Yes, this fic is pure win and if you haven’t read it yet, you should. Seriously. You should.

Now, I say authors because givemesomevamp has just started something that’s a bit of a stretch for her. It’s much darker and more serious. I know that isn’t what you expect from her but I know it’s going to be absolutely fan-fucking-tastic! The fic is Slow Burn and it’s just a few chapters in and it’s already absolutely amazing!

Now, one of the people that I first confessed my love of Darkward to has put out a fic that is BLOWING MY MIND. Seriously, this fic inserts its mind-mouth onto my mind-peen and blows it away! That would be Love My Hate by JaspersIzzy. Yep, it is absolutely phenomenal and I could go on and on about this one. It’s THAT amazing. Darksper, Darkward, Darkisle, ungf! It’s almost too much! 

We Found Each Other is another of her fics that is rated T, but holds a special place in my heart because it was one of the first Jasper fics I’ve read. There towards the end, it even gives you a tiny glimpse into that dark part of her mind that I love sooooo much! So yep, even though it’s T, go read it!

Ooooh, as far as dark and kinky stuff, I love Edward’s Chipper’s Of Swans and Silence. Yep, I LOVE it so much I offered to pufferfish for her. So, I would highly recommend this one. It has a strong, take-no-prisoners Bella and a VERY hawt Edward. It’s only a few chapters in now, but she’ll be adding to it, so you better catch up on your reading soon!

Edward’s Chipper also has Second Chances which I love for the originality, seriously! The main characters are Charlie and an original character Cath, but I promise you’ll like it. It takes an interesting turn in the middle of the story and turns into a dark and smexy tale. I bounce in my chair every time she sticks a new chapter in my inbox (that sounded dirtier than it should), and I know you’ll love it!

 Okay, I’ve already said my idea of dark/dominant/naughty might be different than yours, and I know you’ve read the next five stories/four authors that I’ll talk about, but I had to mention them because they all have inspired my dark/dominant/naughty side in one way or another.

I absolutely jump at the chance to read ANYTHING written by Idreamofeddy. Come on, people, if you haven’t figured it out already her fics have their dark moments, their piss your pants laughing moments, their extremely naughty lemon moments, and some of the most amazing, dominant leading men that just make my panties explode. She was the first to really give Jasper characterization in twific and Colliding Meteors will always be one of my favorites because that Jasper is dominant, gritty, rough around the edges, and I’d screw his brains out in a nanosecond.

The Orbiting Meteor is the same way. It has its angst and it’s extremely dark moments (i.e. when Bella is being held by Maria), but damn if it isn’t just all around fantastic. Seriously, I cry and laugh and swoon and hyperventilate while reading it, absorbing every sentence. Seriously, Idreamofeddy is the one author that, without a doubt, I try desperately to drop everything so I can read as soon as an update hits my inbox. If I can be half as good of an author as she is, then I’ll be feeling pretty damn good about myself at the end of the day.

Running by MerinaGreen is another of my favorites. Not only because it made me giggle when I heard about how difficult it was for her to write the lemons (which are absolutely fantastic, by the way. Seriously, hot springs? Yeah, I wish I were a vamp so I could hold my breath and screw at the bottom of hot springs.) but because Running evoked so much emotion while I was reading it, I was awestruck. Jasper having to take control of a slightly off-kilter Bella who lost everything and still has to battle for her life and is drawn to kill those who killed her mate? Yeah, fucking fantastic, original, brilliant, stupendous… Yeah, I could go on.

Colliding Meteors by Idreamofeddy gave us a glimpse of the gritty Jasper that had demons hiding in his past, but JamesRamsey brought them to the forefront in Insecurities, showing us what the aftermath of the Southern Vampire Wars did to our favorite leading man. She showed the uncontrollable, beast-like demon coming forth, how Jasper reacts instinctively, and damn if it didn’t grab my attention right off the bat. 

I had the honor of doing a collab with this amazing lady recently, and I found out there’s a lot of dark, scary things lurking in her brain! Yeah, I really enjoyed writing A Normal Halloween with her and you’d be surprised to see just how dark we can go with that one! Give it a try… We’ve even started talking about expanding it. It will be a while, but yep, you might get some more from us on that one!

Okay, it’s time for me to fangirl all over cullen818 so she’s just gonna have to grin and bear it. First off, I’m gonna talk about that fact that I admire peeps that can weave a good plot into a one shot… That’s definitely cullen818. It wasn’t long ago that I discovered Searching for Something and damn, did it blow me away. Sure, it’s a one shot, but it left me craving more and that freaking lemon was all kinds of awesome!

And we can’t forget Innocence Lost! I DEVOURED that fic recently (I owe you some more reviews, I know!) when I found time to read it, and holy freaking shit it was phenomenal, dark, and damn, I LOVED it. It has it all: Darkward, a nice smexy Jasper, lemons that are awesome, and did I mention Darkward? Yeah, Darkward. *drools*

Oh, I think I’ve prattled on long enough so I’m going to take a bow and say thanks to the Naughty Girls for having me! I feel so honored that you’d want little ol’ me and I hope I’ve given y’all something new and interesting to read! Cullen818 told me I could pimp my own stuff here, but seriously, these stories are waaay better than anything I could write, so go look these awesome authors up and read, read, read!

Wow!  Thanks so much Hammerhips! You have great taste! lol And, I'm blushing that you'd stick me in a post that includes so many amazing authors! 


  1. SQUEEEEEEE! *blushes and bounces and blushes some more* Thank you so much for the love!! I could totes hump your leg right now. And to be grouped with those fabulous authors?!?!??!?! Talk about playing "One of these things is not like the other" *snort*

    She makes a great naughty girl, huh?! Unfortunantely I can no longer talk to her since she prefers plot to smut and she not only admitted to cheating on Jasper but encouraged others to do the same. *shockgaspawe*

    BTW the amazing HammerHips is working on a wicked piece of dark right now and I can't wait to see the finished product. *whispers* Alistair. Luckily, my wait is a little shorter than mosts. And yes, that was bragging and a little neeneer-neeneer. LOL

    *waves at Naughty Gals* Y'all rock. That is all.

  2. I'm total fail at remembering stuff like this. Blame my hyperactive brain with a bad tendency to get sidetracked by the....ooooh, shiny!

    *cough* Anyhoo, thanks for havin' me. I really had fun with this and it's always fun to get a chance to squee over your fav authors!!!! Oh, and givemesomevamp totes belongs in that group. I FLOVE her writing...and her beta work. *giggles* Love ya!

    Sadly, she's no longer talking to me since I am now ostracized due to my preference of plot over smut and my love for Darkward. *cries*

    Thanks again, ladies! I had a brilliant time!